


learn to hurt and how not to hurt

by nikkiRA



Category: The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M, rated for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 20:04:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3990985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikkiRA/pseuds/nikkiRA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day that Jason breaks up with Piper, he knocks on Nico’s door and asks to hide there for an indeterminate amount of time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	learn to hurt and how not to hurt

**Author's Note:**

> title from 'love is a first' by the tragically hip

The day that Jason breaks up with Piper, he knocks on Nico’s door and asks to hide there for an indeterminate amount of time.

“What do you mean you broke up with Piper?”

“Just what I said.”

 Nico sits on his bed and stares. “Why?”

Jason lies down on the other bed and rubs his hands over his face. “I don’t know. It just stopped seeming… right.”

Nico lets out a low whistle. “Okay. And why are you hiding in my cabin?”

“Have you ever dumped a daughter of Aphrodite?”

“Well of course, frequently.”

Jason rolls his eyes. “Shut up, di Angelo.”

“What are you worried about? Piper wouldn’t do anything.”

“It’s not Piper I’m worried about,” Jason says. “It’s her siblings.”

He has a point. There’s been what could be deemed, by demi-god standards at least, peace for about a year. Now that no ancient deities were trying to kill them, Camp Half-Blood had almost turned into a real camp, and everyone – not just the Aphrodite cabin – had gotten a little out of control.

“Okay,” Nico says slowly. “So why are you hiding here?”

“I’m gambling on the fact that people are still afraid of you.”

Nico snorts. “Still. I doubt anyone’s going to make an attempt on your life, or anything.”

“Regardless, I’m still going to hide out here. If you… don’t mind?”

Nico shrugs. “Doesn’t bother me. I think you’re overreacting, though.”

* * *

Jason was not overreacting.

Nico reluctantly agrees to scout out the situation at dinner, with promises to bring back food. He burns offerings to both his father and Zeus, and then goes to sit at the Poseidon table with Percy (eating alone was overrated, and since it was Percy’s last year at camp before going to New Rome for school, Chiron turned a blind eye). A group of campers from the Aphrodite cabin converge on the two of them.

Piper, he notices, is conspicuously absent.

“We know he’s with you.”

Nico makes a very grand show of checking his pockets before lifting the table cloth and peering under it. “I don’t see him. Percy? Do you see Jason anywhere?”

Percy, grinning, does the same as Nico did, checking his pockets, even trying to look through Nico’s hair, which promptly earns him a smack on the head.

Leading the group is Lacy and Mitchell, and behind them are a few more of their siblings. Nico can vaguely remember Drew and the tyranny she exacted over the Aphrodite cabin; Piper, in contrast, was much kinder and well-liked by everyone. Now that he thinks about it, Nico isn’t at all surprised that they would all come to her defense.

“If Jason thinks he can hide in your creepy cabin for the rest of his life, he’s mistaken.”

“Hey now,” Percy speaks up. “Nico redecorated. It’s actually quite nice now. Not quite as… death like.”

Lacy glares. “He hurt Piper and he will pay for it.”

“People break up, Lacy. You can’t threaten everyone who ends a relationship.”

“No,” she says. “But we can threaten the asshole who broke our sister’s heart. I commend you for the effort you’re putting forth for your friend, but my loyalty is to my family.”

Nico briefly thinks about what he would ever do to Frank if he hurt Hazel and concedes that maybe Lacy has a point. But while Piper is his friend, Jason is his best friend. So even if he can objectively understand what the Aphrodite children are saying, subjectively he stands on the side of Jason Grace.

“Lacy,” Percy says, “sometimes things don’t work out. Jason isn’t all that happy now, either.”

“He’ll never be happy again once we’re through.”

This, Nico thinks, is probably why so many children of Aphrodite become actors. It isn’t because of their looks; it’s because of their penchant for dramatics.

“What does Piper have to say about all of this?”

“Piper hasn’t _said_ anything,” Mitchell says angrily. “Piper has locked herself away and every time anyone tries to talk to her she charmspeaks them away from her.”

Nico grimaces. “Regardless,” Percy speaks up, “I guarantee you Piper wouldn’t want you doing this.”

“Yes, well. Once Piper stops crying, maybe she’ll be able to tell us.”

Percy lets out a breath once they walk away. “Gods. Poor Pipes. Poor Jason. Fuck.”

“I’m going to have to set up fucking skeleton guards tonight, aren’t I?”

 “I mean… I can’t exactly say I blame them. Has he talked about it at all?”

Nico shakes his head. “All he said was that it wasn’t feeling right anymore. I didn’t push him.”

“Why not?”

“It’s none of my business.”

“You’re his best friend! He’s hiding in your bedroom! Of course it’s your business!”

Nico blushes. “Do I really look like someone you’d want to spill your feelings to?”

“Look, all I’m saying is, no one saw it coming, and now he’s hiding in the Hades cabin and you’re bringing him food. Do we have any Ben and Jerry’s?”

“I’m not exactly up on popular culture, but isn’t the dumpee usually the one eating ice cream?”

“I think both of them need ice cream. That’s why you need to figure out what the fuck is going on.”

Nico sighs. “Fine, I’ll work on it, okay?”

“Cool. Here, I’ll come with you to bring him dinner.”

When Nico and Percy get back to the Hades cabin Jason is reading one of the comic books Nico had left lying around.

“Food,” Nico says, holding the plate out. Jason grabs it enthusiastically. “I burned an offering to your father already,” he adds, as Jason is stuffing his face. Jason smiles at him and Nico looks away.

“So what’s the situation like?” He asks. Nico and Percy exchange glances.

“Well, uh…”

Jason groans and slumps against the wall. “How dead am I?”

“I might have to set up skeleton guards tonight.”

“How’s… how’s Piper?”

Nico and Percy look at each other again. “She’s probably been better,” is how Percy chooses to put it.

Jason closes his eyes. Percy shoots Nico a meaningful glance before leaving, wishing Jason good luck and promising he’d drop by tomorrow. Nico sighs and sits down on his bed.

“Percy wants me to ask what exactly is going on.”

Jason’s mouth twitches. “I’d tell him if I knew.”

Nico stares at the other boy for a moment while trying to figure out what to say. Jason looks tired; he needs a haircut and he’s removed his glasses, placing them on the night table. Nico suddenly realizes that he will be sleeping beside him tonight, not in the same bed, obviously, but still side by side, and for some reason the thought makes him blush.

“Can I…”

Jason opens his eyes. “Yeah?”

“I just still don’t really understand. You broke up with Piper but you act as if you didn’t want to. No one saw it coming. Cassandra couldn’t have seen it coming.”

Jason sits up, sitting against the wall with his legs stretched out in front of him. “I didn’t even see it coming, to be honest.”

“So then –” Nico shakes his head. Relationships aren’t exactly his strong point; he spent two years hating and loving Percy Jackson and the next two just loving, more than he had ever really thought possible. Jason shrugs.

“I don’t know, Nico. That’s the worst – I have no _fucking_ idea, all I know is that the other day I looked at Piper and I realized that she wasn’t what I wanted.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“Yeah, no kidding.”

Nico just shrugs. “Whatever. It’s your life.”

“There’s a campfire tonight, isn’t there?”

Nico nods.

“Are you going?”

Suddenly embarrassed, he looks down at his sheets and mumbles, “Figured I’d stay and keep you company.”

When he looks up, Jason’s smile lights him on fire.

* * *

When Nico leaves his cabin the next morning, it’s pink.

“That is… not what it’s supposed to look like,” he mutters. Percy and Annabeth come up behind him. Percy puts his arm on his shoulder and leans on him.

“Thought you were done redecorating?”

“Fuck off, Jackson,” he mutters. “My father would _not_ be happy with this.”

“It’s not even a _nice_ pink,” Annabeth says. Nico rolls his eyes.

“It’s pretty lame, all things considered.”

“They probably thought you’d look at it and die from the abundance of colour.”

Nico flips Percy off and heads off to breakfast. When the three of them arrive the Aphrodite cabin looks at him expectantly. He just raises an eyebrow. “What exactly are you trying to accomplish with this? It’s not even that clever. Is that really the best you can do?”

The entire table erupts into laughter. Nico’s heart sinks.

“I don’t like the sound of that,” Annabeth says.

“I’m going to go check on Jason,” he mutters, the sound of laughter loud in his ears as he walks away.

With a look of disdain at the pink exterior he opens the door. Jason isn’t there.

“Jason?” No answer. Nico’s worry spikes – there aren’t exactly a lot of places to hide in his cabin. “Jason?”

“Nico?”

“Where are you?”

Jason pokes his head out from behind Nico’s bed.

“ _Oh.”_

Jason’s cheeks are red, not from embarrassment (although that’s probably not helping) but by an incredibly bright shade of blush. His lips are purple, and his eyelids are a sparkly pink. His eyelashes are elongated by mascara. It looks as if someone had asked a five year old child to put makeup on him and was given the tackiest colours.

“Permanent makeup,” Jason whispers. Nico bites his lip very, very hard to stop himself from laughing.

“You look beautiful,” he says. Jason swears rather creatively at him.

“Travis Stoll said his lasted a month,” Jason bemoans, scrubbing at his face. Nothing happens. A loud laugh escapes Nico’s mouth which he hurriedly tries to cover with a cough. Jason’s expression tells him clearly that he is not fooled.

“This isn’t funny, Nico,” he mutters. Nico bites down on one of his knuckles and tries to breathe deeply.

“No, you’re right, this is very, very serious,” he says, fighting to keep a straight face. Jason takes one of the pillows off Nico’s bed and throws it at him. Nico holds it to his face and laughs loudly into it.

“Fuck off, di Angelo!”

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, not sounding very sorry at all. “I know this is a very serious situation and you are very vulnerable right now but gods above, Grace, you look _awful.”_

Jason slumps down on Nico’s bed. “Did Piper…?”

Nico shakes his head. “No. It was the rest of them. My cabin is pink, too, by the way.”

Jason draws his knees up to his chest and buries his face in his arms. “I’m sorry,” he mutters.

“For what?”

“Involving you in this. I never should have come here. I should have just sucked it up and stayed. But I…” Jason lowers his voice so Nico has to strain to here. “I didn’t want to be alone.”

Nico looks at the boy on his bed. He has a strange urge to reach out and comfort him, somehow, but he has no idea how he would even go about that. He flops down on his bed beside him. “Relax, Captain America,” he says, a nickname he had started calling him after a camp wide movie night. Jason smiles the tiniest bit. “I’ve dealt with much worse than pink paint jobs and angry campers.”

“They could turn on you, though,” Jason says, looking at him. Nico shrugs.

“Personally I think I’d look nice,” he says with a smirk. Jason looks at him in bewilderment for a few moments before bursting into laughter.

“Thank you,” he says. Nico just shrugs again, suddenly embarrassed.

“Don’t mention it,” he mutters. “And I, uh. I won’t tell anyone about this,” he adds, gesturing at Jason’s face.

“Does that mean you won’t use it as blackmail in the future?”

Nico smiles slightly. “No promises, Grace.”

* * *

When he gets back to the dining pavilion everyone turns to look at him in anticipation. He sits beside Percy and says, loud enough that it carries, “He was fine. Guess they didn’t do anything.”

Percy searches his face but Nico keeps it blank, remembering his promise to Jason. The Aphrodite campers have their heads together, whispering frantically. Nico bites the inside of his cheek to stop from smiling.

Today he’s scheduled to help Percy teach the younger campers how to spar. He runs a plate of food to Jason first before heading down to meet Percy. The younger campers – and a few of the older ones who place frequent bets on which one of them will win – mill around while Percy shouts instructions.

“See, Nico is a good opponent, but he’s an awful loser. One time he called up an army of skeletons because I beat him at rock-paper-scissors.”

The crowd laughs. Nico raises an eyebrow at Percy.

“Now, I don’t recommend taunting your opponent when you’re actually facing a monster. It can distract from your technique, and while you’re trying to think up a clever retort about a Cyclopes’ mother they can get the upper hand.” Percy lunges, and Nico evades it easily. “But Nico is about as harmless as a declawed kitten,” he says, grinning widely at him. Nico still doesn’t speak, just surveys Percy coolly. He can hear whispers; from experience he knows that the final bets are being placed.

And then Nico smirks.

“ _That,_ everyone, is why you never listen to Percy Jackson,” he says, sword held at Percy’s throat. Percy is grinning wickedly while around them people are laughing, others grumbling as they exchange money.

“It’s what, now, four for you, five for me?” Percy asks as they’re walking back, Nico’s sword heavy in his hand and sweat dripping down Percy’s face.

“Something like that,” Nico replies.

“What happens if we get to the end of the summer and we’re tied?”

Nico snorts. “Don’t worry. We won’t be.”

“Big words, di Angelo. Ready to back them up?”

“What do you think I just did?”

Percy laughs. After a moment he asks, “Have you seen Piper yet?”

Nico shakes his head. “Jason still hasn’t really told me anything. Just the same thing he said before.”

Percy shakes his head. “I have to meet Annabeth. I’ll see you later. Let me know if you learn anything.”

Nico nods before making his way back to his cabin. When he opens the door he stops dead in his tracks.

“I’m starting to think I got the short end of the stick. Sure, I can fly. But I can’t do _this.”_

Jason, face still full of makeup, is sitting on the bed. His shirt barely reaches his midriff and is far too tight; the exact same thing has happened with his pants, and Nico can see, well. Everything.

He gulps.

“Um.”

“It’s a curse,” he says, his mouth curling upwards bitterly. “They make all your clothes two sizes too small. Like the fucking Grinch’s heart,” he says, and although he still has that curve of his lips Nico can hear the anger and sadness and what he thinks is a hint of self-hatred in his voice. He’s an expert at recognizing those feelings.

“Piper told me about it, once. As if the makeup wasn’t enough. Don’t I look great?”

Nico isn’t sure he trusts himself to answer that question.

“Jason…”

And then, because the universe has been conspiring against Nico di Angelo since he was born, he rips his shirt off and whips it at the wall.

“I didn’t want to hurt her,” he says angrily. “But I am allowed to end a fucking relationship I wasn’t happy in.”

Nico watches as Jason rubs ineffectively at the makeup on his eyelids. He drops his head against the wall and breathes in deeply. Nico walks in and sits on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees as he looks at Jason, breathing heavily and angrily. Nico gets a sudden urge to open up a fissure large enough to swallow the entire Aphrodite cabin whole.

“Why weren’t you happy?” He asks quietly.

Jason is quiet for so long Nico isn’t sure he had heard.

“For the past… oh, I don’t know, six months? I’ve kind of felt that I was more… going through the motions than anything else. And I tried to ignore it, for a really long time, but eventually it swelled to this huge crescendo of unhappiness and I was lying to Piper and I was lying to myself and I couldn’t, anymore. And now, as if this whole goddamn situation isn’t bad enough, I have to deal with all of this.”

Nico watches him for a few minutes before he stands up and walks out the door without another word.

“Nico?”

He is on his way to the Aphrodite cabin when Lacy and Mitchell corner him.

“Di Angelo.”

“Move,” he says. He is fuming; the air around him drops ten degrees and Mitchell steps back the tiniest bit.

“You children of the Big Three think you’re all that,” Lacy says. “You think you’re all powerful because your fathers hold dominion over the whole world. But you’re wrong. Lightning, and water, and ghosts; none of it as powerful as my mother.”

Nico glares. Mitchell grabs his sister’s arm, pulls it gently, glancing at Nico worriedly.

“My mother came first and she has more power than all the other gods combined. She can reduce your father, and Grace’s father, and Jackson’s father, to simpering school boys. Aphrodite controls the heart – she is the most powerful goddess of all. Love is stronger than all of your powers combined, di Angelo.”

Nico stares at her for so long that the confidence seems to trickle out of her.

And then, just like he had during his fight with Percy, he smirks.

“D’you know the story of Orpheus and his wife? Eurydice?”

Lacy doesn’t answer, just stares at him suspiciously.

“Orpheus played music more beautifully than anyone in the entire world, and then he fell in love. Eurydice. And he loved her more than anything. And she died. Shit happens. But you are right, you know. Your mother is incredibly powerful, more so than many think. And so Orpheus took his lyre down to the Underworld and played so beautifully that even my father’s heart melted. The power of his love was enough to change the rules of the Underworld. So my father struck a deal – Eurydice would follow her husband out of the Underworld and once they got above she would be with him again. A second chance at love. The only condition was that Orpheus wasn’t allowed to look back. He had to trust my father’s word.

“But he didn’t. He didn’t make it out. He lost faith and he looked back and he saw his beautiful wife and he realized that Hades had been truthful with him. And then he lost her. He had broken his word to my father and he lost her for the second time.”

Nico takes a step closer. The temperature around the three of them keeps getting colder and colder. “Love is your mother’s element, and love got Orpheus down to the Underworld, and love allowed him to melt my father’s heart, and love gave him the opportunity to bring his wife back from the dead, but in the end do you know what won? Death. Death took Eurydice the first time and death took her the second time, too. _Til death do us part,_ your wedding vows say. Love is powerful, sure. But at the end of the day, death wins out. It always does.”

He takes another step closer. He and Lacy are practically nose to nose. “Fix him,” he says, very quietly. “Or we will find out who the real winner is between a child of love and a child of death.”

And with that he storms away.

He doesn’t go back to his cabin immediately. He is too angry, and he doesn’t want to inflict it on Jason. Instead he makes his way to the lake, intending to sit on the dock and dip his feet in the water until he calms down. But when he gets there, someone is already there.

He debates leaving her alone, but he’s an expert at being left alone and he knows it isn’t usually as relaxing as you would think.

“Hey,” he says, sitting down beside Piper. Her shoes are beside her and her feet are in the lake. She looks up and gives him a little smile.

“Hi, Nico.”

“So. How are you?”

Piper laughs. “You wouldn’t be asking if you didn’t already know.”

Nico nods. “Fair enough.” Then, because it’s what you’re supposed to say in these situations, he says, “I’m sorry.”

She ducks her head, splashing the water with her feet. “Thank you. I guess. I don’t know. How is… how is Jason?”

“He’s been better,” he says truthfully. Piper sighs.

“I still don’t understand.”

“If it makes you feel better, neither does he.”

“Why would that make me feel better?”

Nico shrugs. “I don’t know. I never said I was good at this.”

She smiles sadly out at the horizon. “I want you to know… I never asked them to do what they did. I didn’t even know they were doing it. When I found out I told them to knock it off.”

“I know.”

“Does Jason?”

Nico nods. Piper sighs. “I never ever thought that this would happen.”

Uncomfortable, the only thing Nico can think to do is nod. “Did he… did he tell you why?”

Yes, technically, but Nico doesn’t want to be the one to tell her that her boyfriend fell out of love with her. So he just shrugs.

Piper takes a deep breath and then stands up. “I’m going to go back. I can’t sulk forever. Plus I need to figure out what to do about your cabin.”

Nico smiles. “I’m starting to grow accustomed to it.”

Piper waves and then walks away. When she gets to the beginning of the dock she turns back. “Take care of him, okay?”

With a weird sort of lump in his throat, Nico nods.

* * *

When Nico gets back, his cabin is still pink, but Jason is in much better shape.

“My clothes fit again,” he says. “And I was able to get most of the makeup off. The eyeliner is being stubborn, though.”

Nico smiles. “I think it suits you.”

Kicking off his shoes, he climbs into bed.

“Nico?”

“Yeah?”

“What did you do?”

“I told Greek myths to the Aphrodite cabin,” he says truthfully.

“I mean it. What did you do?”

Nico sighs. “I was going to go talk to Piper. To ask her to put a stop to this. On the way there Lacy and Mitchell stopped me and started waxing poetic about how love is the most powerful element of them all and then I –” He blushes – “I told them that at the end of the day death was stronger and then I may or may not have threatened them that if they didn’t fix you they would find out just how strong death could be.”

Jason’s mouth is hanging open. “You did _what?”_

“Well I couldn’t just let them do that to you! If I have to put up with this stupid, angry, ghost king reputation I might as well make the most of it.”

Jason closes his mouth, but the weird way he is gazing at Nico doesn’t change. Finally he laughs. “You’re terrifying, do you know that?”

“You can go back, now, probably. If you want.”

Jason is silent. “Yeah. I, uh. I will tomorrow. Too tired now.”

Feeling oddly relieved, Nico turns off the lights and falls asleep, listening to the breathing on the other side of the room.

* * *

Jason leaves the next morning, goes back to his cabin. He spends the day outside with them, but he never truly smiles. Sometimes Nico will turn around and see Jason staring at him. The other boy quickly looks away and Nico is left feeling very confused.

That night Nico is lying in bed, looking up at the ceiling and feeling intensely lonely when there is a knock on his door. It’s after curfew so he gets up quickly, opening his door to reveal Jason Grace.

“Did you forget something?”

“There’s something I have to tell you.”

Nico just nods and moves aside so Jason can step inside. Nico closes the door and leans against it.

“Okay.”

Jason sits on Nico’s bed and takes a deep breath. “I told you that every time I was with Piper it felt wrong, but there’s… I left something out.”

Nico doesn’t say anything.

“Every time I was with her the only thing I could ever really think about what that day with you and Cupid.”

Nico blinks. Not exactly his proudest moment.

“And I could never understand why. I never understood why that was the thing I always thought about whenever I was with my girlfriend. Why every time I looked at Piper I saw your face when Cupid had outed you.”

Nico swallows, unable to meet Jason’s eye. Looking at his feet, he doesn’t see Jason step steadily closer.

“And it got to a point where I was so confused and upset that I was feeling that and doing that to Piper that I broke up with her. Because it wasn’t fair to her, and it wasn’t fair to me, that I would stay with her even though I didn’t want to. So I broke up with her. And then I hid, partly because I honestly was afraid of what the Aphrodite cabin would do to me, but also because I was hoping being here, with you, would help me understand things.

“And it did. Eventually I realized that I was – I realized that I was constantly thinking about that when I was with her because I… because I had been keeping a secret, too.”

Nico’s heart is beating so fast he thinks that Jason can probably hear it. He looks up and inhales sharply; Jason is right in front of him.

“And I always thought that would be something that I’d _know,_ you know? That’s why it took me so long to figure out what it was that was wrong, because I always figured that by now I’d know if I… if I liked guys.”

Nico sucks in a breath so quickly it almost makes him dizzy.

“But I guess it’s not that simple. I always figured everything was kind of cut and dry, with no fuzzy lines around it, girls or guys or both or none, but it’s not, because I’ve been sitting here the past few days trying to figure out what this means, if I like only guys or both and I can’t figure it out because the only thing I know for sure is that I like _you._ ” Jason steps even closer, so that Nico can almost count his eyelashes. Jason grabs his wrist, but Nico wrenches away from Jason’s grip, stepping around him, further into his room.

“Stop,” he says, his voice barely more than a whisper. Jason recoils. “Stop, Jason. This isn’t you. This is… this is Aphrodite. It has to be.”

“No. It’s _not._ Nico –”

“You’ve been cursed with permanent makeup and smaller clothes and my cabin is _pink_ and you expect me to believe that this isn’t Aphrodite or her children pulling your strings to punish you for breaking up with Piper?”

“Pulling my strings for six months? More, probably?”

“Aphrodite could you make you fall in love with Chiron and it would feel like you’ve loved him for your entire life.”

“Why would I come here right after I broke up with Piper, then?”

“We’re friends, Jason.”

Jason takes a step closer, but Nico steps away.

“Stop. This isn’t – it’s not _real.”_ He’s not sure if he’s saying this to try and convince Jason or to try to convince himself.

Because here’s the thing – he really, really wants to believe Jason. He hadn’t even realized how much he wanted to kiss Jason until the son of Jupiter was standing in front of him, telling him the same thing. And even if it was just Aphrodite, a part of him wants to just say _fuck it,_ let Jason kiss him the way Aphrodite was telling him he wanted to and pretend that it was real. But he couldn’t, with clear conscious, let that happen. He would never be able to look Jason in the eye once the feelings wore off, knowing Nico had taken advantage of him.

“I’m finally understanding, Nico.”

“No, you’re not. You’re being used. A pissed off mother is getting her revenge on you.” _And me, for some reason. As if Aphrodite hadn’t fucked me up enough already._

Jason tries to take another step but Nico just steps away again, this time glaring at him. “Leave, Grace. Eventually this will wear off, and we’ll pretend it didn’t happen. Go back to your cabin.”

Jason stares at him, looking hurt. Then he spins around and leaves, leaving Nico feeling more alone than ever.

Nico lies in bed for over an hour, staring at the ceiling, running over the conversation in his mind, remembering how close Jason had been and the way he had looked when he said _I like_ you. When he finally drifts off, it’s not any more restful.

One of these days, he would really like to have just a normal dream. Just a normal, standing naked in front of the classroom, run of the mill _dream._

He doesn’t know where he is, in the dream. Some kind of beach, he thinks. Standing in front of him is the most beautiful women he’s ever seen.

Here’s the thing – Nico is really, really gay. Women just don’t do anything for him. But apparently that doesn’t apply to Aphrodite, because Nico is absolutely speechless. Lacy was right – Aphrodite must have been incredibly powerful, because even Nico is attracted to her.

“Oh you silly boy,” she says.

“What?”

Aphrodite takes a step closer to him. She smells wonderful.

“Listen to me, son of Hades,” she says seriously. “I wish no happiness for Jason Grace. And I promise that being with him will not be easy. Nobody breaks my children’s hearts. But that is not me. Whatever he is feeling is him. Whether you choose to believe him or not is your business, but know that I am not interfering with his feelings.”

“You can’t – you can’t punish him because he fell out of love with Piper.”

“Understand this.” Her voice is very low, and Nico is not ashamed to admit that he is goddamn terrified. He doesn’t really have the best experiences with love gods and goddesses. “All bets are off when it comes to my children. That is a personal insult to me.”

The dream dissolves, and Nico wakes up suddenly. He sits up, a sinking feeling in his stomach. He doesn’t know how, but he knows Jason is in trouble.

Sneaking out of his cabin, he runs quickly over to the Zeus cabin. He knocks but there is no answer, so he goes in anyway.

Jason is thrashing on his bed, and Nico has had enough nightmares to know what’s happening. He rushes over to the bed and sits beside him, grabbing his shoulders firmly and shaking him.

“Jason. Jason.”

Jason’s eyes spring open, but Nico can tell he doesn’t see him. “It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s not real. Whatever you’re seeing, it’s not real.”

Jason’s breathing is loud and uneven. “Nico?”

“Yeah. It’s me.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Aphrodite decided to visit me in my dreams. I figured she would probably do the same to you, but she wouldn’t be quite as friendly.”

Jason’s eyes close. “It was horrible. It was…”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Nico says gently. Jason sits up and sits close to him, head on Nico’s shoulder. Nico tenses, but he lets Jason stay; the other boy is shaking furiously. Nico tentatively grabs a hold of Jason’s hand, and Jason squeezes it.

 “Did you have a nightmare, too?”

Nico takes a deep breath. “No. Not like that.”

“What did she say to you?”

Nico swallows. The huge statue of Zeus seems to be staring at him. Nico doesn’t know how Jason could possibly sleep here. “She said… she said however you were feeling, she wasn’t interfering. But then she said… she said that breaking Piper’s heart was a personal insult to her, and that you would pay for it.”

“Fuck,” Jason’s voice is shaky. Nico wonders if he could take on the goddess. He could probably take Aphrodite in a fight.

“I’m sorry, Jason.”

“How is this your fault?”

“I imagine me threatening to kill the entire Aphrodite cabin probably didn’t help matters.”

Jason sighs. His breath is warm on Nico’s neck; his hand in Nico’s in clammy.

“Will you stay,” he mutters. Nico nods immediately.

“Of course.”

Since Bianca died, Nico hasn’t had anyone to help chase away his nightmares. He’s learned to deal with them on his own. That’s not something he would want anyone to have to do; definitely not Jason Grace.

“Lie down, Jason,” he says. “I’ll stay, I promise.”

“She told you that it wasn’t her. How I feel, it wasn’t her. Do you believe her?”

Nico sighs. “You can’t really disagree with a goddess.”

“Nico.” Jason sits up straight and stares right at Nico. “This is real. I swear. And I… I want to kiss you. Can I kiss you?”

_No. No, you can’t, because this isn’t real, you’re just one more unattainable hero and I told myself I was done with heroes but here I am again. You can’t kiss me because this isn’t who you are. You can’t kiss me because you deserve someone better. You can’t kiss me because Aphrodite will make your life hell if you do._

That is what Nico tries to say. That is what he _wants_ to say. But for some reason all that ends up happening is that he nods. _At least I can pretend for a bit._

Jason’s lips are soft. He is sweaty from the nightmare, and his hands are still shaking as they cup Nico’s face. Nico brings his hands up to grab Jason’s biceps and he clutches at them.

Nico doesn’t know how to kiss, but he tries to follow Jason’s lead, and he must be doing decently well because Jason pushes closer to him and opens his mouth slightly, slowly, carefully, asking for permission. Nico pushes closer. Jason grips him close to him, desperately; Nico doesn’t know what Aphrodite made him dream about, but it must have been awful.

“Jason –”

“I’m sorry. Am I… do you want me to stop?” Jason pulls back and looks straight into Nico’s eyes. What he sees there makes him pull back even further. “You still don’t believe me, do you?”

“How can I?”

Jason kisses him again, harder this time, desperate and messy and sloppy, and Nico moans. “Why is it so hard for you to understand that I want you?”

“Because –” Nico pulls away, tries to catch his breath. “Because it’s _you._ And it’s _me.”_

“What do you –” Jason’s eyes widen. “You still don’t see it, do you? You still don’t see why you’re worth it.”

“I’m not.”

Jason shakes his head. “You are,” he says, hands holding Nico’s face. “You are, you are, you are.”

He kisses him again. Nico doesn’t think he will ever tire of kissing Jason Grace, and even though it’s likely he will never kiss him again, once he comes to his senses, Nico is going to enjoy whatever he gets now.

“You think I’m going to change my mind.”

“I think you’re sad and confused.”

“No. No, Nico, no.” He leans his forehead against Nico’s. “I’m not. Everything makes sense, now. I’m not confused. I understand, now.”

Nico shakes his head, but Jason kisses him again. “Stop shaking your head. What can I do to make you believe?”

“You can’t.”

“I will.”

Nico exhales angrily. “Are you aware of how difficult you are?”

Jason smiles, and it’s so kind and warm and loving that Nico’s stomach flips over.

“If you don’t believe me now, fine. But you will. I’ll prove it to you.”

Nico reaches out a shaky hand and touches Jason’s cheek. “Go back to sleep, Jason.”

“Stay with me,” he whispers. Nico nods.

“I will.”

Jason lies down, lightly tugging Nico down with him. Nico tenses, but Jason doesn’t touch him, no more than the necessary brushing of shoulders and legs due to the size of the bed.

“Don’t worry,” he whispers. “I won’t ever touch you if you don’t want me to.”

Nico breathes in deeply and then says, looking up at the stormy ceiling, “I want you to.”

Jason moves closer, lips ghosting over Nico’s skin. Nico shivers under his touch.

“Maybe you’ll believe me in the morning.”

Nico can’t help but smile. “Maybe.”

* * *

He doesn’t believe him in the morning. It takes a while.

It takes weeks of Jason’s gentle kisses, of warm hands on his skin, of whispered words and promises. Jason respects his wishes and doesn’t treat him any differently in public, but every casual touch of Jason’s leaves Nico’s cheeks burning. Jason’s touch electrifies him – he isn’t sure if it’s literal or figurative.

It’s when Jason kisses him goodnight one night near the end of summer, hiding in the shadows behind Nico’s cabin, that Nico grabs his hand before he walks away.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?”

Jason laughs quietly. “No shit, Sherlock.”

Nico cocks his head. “Sherlock? Like Holmes?”

Jason grins. “You’re the cutest old man I know.”

“Fuck off.”

Jason kisses him deeply, pushing him up against the wall of the cabin. Nico kisses back – he even bites lightly at Jason’s bottom lip, which elicits a moan from Jason that lights Nico’s insides on fire.

“You’re staying,” Nico says, hesitantly.

“I’m staying,” Jason reaffirms.

“Okay,” Nico finally says.

Later, before he enters his cabin, something tells him to look behind him. A beautiful woman is standing in the shadows. Nico thinks he can see her nod begrudgingly at him.

Nico resists the urge to flip her off and heads to bed.

**Author's Note:**

> the permanent makeup and clothes too small thing comes from the percy jackson wiki, and the cabin became pink because i said so ok


End file.
